Geekfoolery

During the full moon this Saturday, I was reminded of how from time to time, the gadget gremlins conspire against us.

Back in November, 1969, Apollo 12 landed on the moon, the second time mankind had made the giant leap. The first time around, four months earlier, the whole world watched as Neil Armstrong hopped around in one-sixth gravity and planted a flag, and in all likelihood, flubbed one of the most famous utterances of the twentieth century.

The problem, however, as the world watched, was that the astronauts looked like ghostly figures hopping around through the world’s worst security camera. A phrase that has been used ever since the Apollo program no doubt began when someone said, “We can put a man on the moon, why can’t we get decent pictures of it?”

Apollo 12 carried on board a wonder of modern high-tech miniaturization–a hand-held color television camera. Now the world would see the astronauts walking on the moon “in living color!” The camera was tremendously expensive, and a unique, hand-made piece of gear that was going to bring the “wow” experience to Americans live from the surface of the moon. Except the gadget gremlins had to have their offering. Lunar Module Pilot Alan Bean, when setting up the camera, managed to point the lens directly at the sun momentarily–but just long enough to burn out the tube, which immediately terminated live television coverage of the Apollo 12 mission.

I felt a bit like Alan Bean this weekend. There was a full moon, and it was another hot sunny Southern California day, so the plan was to bring the geeklings down to Newport Harbor in Orange County for a full moon paddle. Newport is always fun for kayaking, but nighttime is especially peaceful and the full moon is always a wonderful sight.

Lighting the kayaks at night is both a good idea and probably some kind of legal requirement… my understanding is that you need a white light high enough to be seen from all angles. I have a couple of flashlights for this, and to fix them at the right height, I rigged a couple of PVC pipe masts to hang the lights.

I then got the idea to use my new ATC Action Cam from Oregon Scientific to catch some video of the harbor lights. The camera comes with a bracket that allowed it to be fixed easily to the PVC mast. I have had the cam for a couple weeks–my first try to use it was thwarted by a faulty SD card, and since then I’ve mostly just been testing it. I’ve been planning to use it kayaking, and I was also thinking I could attach it to kite for some aerial photography as well.

We got to the beach and boats were ready to go, lit up and on the dock. Mrs. Alex and I thought it would be good idea to put the two geeklings in their own boat this time, so Mrs. Alex and I could relax a bit. Although it was night, we weren’t planning on doing anything more than aimless paddling and floating in the moonlight, so I didn’t anticipate a huge issue if Geekling 1 couldn’t get her paddling in sync with Geekling 2. And the video that the action cam would take should provide some amusement.

All of us have lost a piece of equipment from time to time. Absentmindedness and forgetfulness claims more than a few cellphones, of course, non-warranty breakage (oops!) claims a few more. But if I had to stack rank the biggest causes of loss of perfectly good gadgets, kids would be at or near the top, and boating (splash) would not be far behind. In combination, these two factors are a veritable black hole.

In brief, the two geeklings were having a hell of time keeping their boat going in a straight line, owing to disagreements over who was actually steering, and because the two of them were in a mood where ANYTHING that anyone said or did was tremendously funny. Somehow in the middle of all this, Geekling 1 somehow managed to swing her paddle and hit the PVC mast hard enough to knock it out of its stand and over the side of the kayak. Both the flashlight and the Action Cam are waterproof, but alas, neither one floats, and I paddled over just in time to see the light vanish in the murky depths of the harbor.

It was a sobering moment for the kids… the giggling that began the moment they got on the water finally stopped. I mentally added up the cost of the camera, the flashlight, and 2 gig SD card in the camera, and there was a moment of denial, that somehow I could jump in after it. At night. In what later turned out to be 30 feet of water.

My Action Cam now joins what I am sure is a nicely scattered layer on the bottom of the harbor of sunglasses, cellphones, winch handles, car keys, GPS units, and cameras, many if not most of which cost more than my camera.

Such are the offerings to the gadget gremlins. I look up at tonight’s full moon and think of the Alan Bean’s camera, and count myself pretty lucky. Here’s hoping your offerings are infrequent and as inexpensive as fate will allow.

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