Geekfoolery

My morning drive to work is about 35 miles. It happens to take me through some of the most heavily congested highways and interchanges in the country. On average, it’s about an hour and a half, and this morning, for no discernable reason, the last 5 miles took an hour and a half. If I could have parked my car, I could have walked the last five miles as fast I drove. About every third tap of the brake, I was wishing for the long-promised, never delivered flying car.

Popular Science has been predicting them for ages. I am sure there are back issues of the magazine from the Paleolithic era promising that soon, this marvel of technology, the wheel, will both fly and roll. Moller International’s Skycar has made the front cover of many magazines, though it hasn’t flown yet. Moller will be happy to take your money if you want to pre-order one, though–when he starts production, you’ll be first in line. A couple MIT students have also started a company to sell a flying car called Terrafugia. And of course, James Bond villian Scaramanga, The Man With the Golden Gun, had one years ago.

Now here comes another one, this time from Holland. It’s called the PAL-V, or Personal Air and Land Vehicle. On the ground, it looks like one of those funky 3-wheel scooter thingies that seem to come out mostly in Europe. But tucked into the top is a 3-bladed rotor that allows the PAL-V to convert to a gyrocopter, a short take-off and landing rotor craft. Designed to fly under commercial air traffic at 4000 feet and at 200km/h, it looks and sound like a a LOT of fun, and a great way to deal with my pesky commute.

But there’s one thing I have to make ABSOLUTELY clear. Sooner or later, someone–Moller, or the MIT guys, or this Dutch outfit–someone is going to make this flying car thing fly, so to speak. And when that happens, here’s the deal. I am calling it. Yes, calling it–as in when you were 10 and your brother was 8 and you called the front seat, and that made it yours. Well, I am calling the flying car. It’s mine, and only mine. I am not being selfish here, just practical. The flying car has great implications for someone who has a hellish commute like myself, but ONLY IF I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS ONE. There is no way I am going to share the skies with some of the loons who drive around on the LA freeways. So please, people–first, build me flying car, then the rest of you, too bad. You could have called it first if you wanted to, but you didn’t. So there.

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