Future Weapons I’d like to see
If you watch Discovery Channel for any length of time or pick up a copy of Popular Mechanics from time to time, then you are familiar with a wide variety of amazing military hardware that comes out of research labs and ends in the hands of soldiers so that they can become ever more efficient and accurate in completing their missions in the field.
Which of course, is great. We all want our boys to have the best. But from my point of view, it seems that military has overlooked something that could either save taxpayers a lot of money, if the Pentagon decided to deploy such a fighting unit, or, on the other hand, could prove too formidable a foe should our high-tech, highly trained fighting forces come up against such an opponent in the field.
Anyone with a Netflix account knows what I am talking about. More deadly than a squad of Navy SEALS, harder to kill than zombie from hell, I am of course talking about the single most effective fighting unit ever devised by man.
A 108-pound hot babe with a samurai sword.
If you don’t believe me, watch Kill Bill. Ultraviolet. Charlie’s Angels. Admittedly, there was once a time when the military depended more on the large, musclebound warriors of single combat, such as Rambo and John Matrix (from Commando). Those were the days of raw muscle and firepower, but clearly the modern world calls for new kind of warrior–one that looks good in skintight leather and has perfect hair and makeup at all times. Almost impervious to injury, except that kind that might knock a stray lock of hair alluring over her eyes, or small cut to the forehead or chin that might draw a trickle of blood. No black eyes or fat lips, ever.
The choice of the samurai sword as a weapon is also clearly important. Three and half feet of steel with a sharp edge–a weapon system centuries old–is clearly superior to any firearm, regardless of range or caliber. Especially if the samurai sword has been specially made by legendary swordsmith who came out of retirement to make it as a special gift.
So the question is why are we spending billions of dollars on new weapon systems, fighter jets, and tomahawk missiles? I am thinking we get say, Scarlett Johansson, a couple thousand bucks in Beverly Hills on a tight leather outfit, and samuarai sword donated to a worthy pupil, and our military’s recruiting and weapons needs are complete.
Who wants to help me pitch in for a Netflix subscription for the Pentagon?
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