Geekfoolery

Commentary on emerging trends, especially cool or absurd innovations across a broad range of geekiness. ...with your Host, Mr. Alex.

Top Ten Movie Guns

Posted Feb 21st, 2007

Oscars are coming. It’s an event that never really did much for me, primarily because the Academy has traditionally ignored my favorite genre of movies, the “Things Blowing Up” category of cinema. So screw them. For today, I just want to look at some of the unsung stars of the action movies… the guns and weapons that should probably have their own agents. I’ll admit, I am not a gun nut and I don’t own myself, but I can appreciate a well-cast gun in a great action movie. I submit for your approval, in no particular order, my Top Ten Movie Weapons and Guns.

1. Desert Eagle .50 AE, The Matrix: The Wachowski Brothers gave us the Matrix, and we thank them for it. They also gave us Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions, and we’re still seeing whether the first one outweighs the sequels. Still, the Wachowskis paid a great deal of attention to the guns that were used in the Matrix, and the star was the clearly Desert Eagle. It’s a big, bad automatic that takes big honkin’ bullets and it looks great on camera. Think of the scene where Smith is shooting at Trinity as they run across the rooftops. A little research online seems to indicate that people who actually know something about guns think this piece is the handgun equivalent of a pimpmobile-all show, no practical value. Fine. It looks great in the movie.

2. .44 Magnum, Dirty Harry: Go on, say it. We all have it memorized: “I know what you’re thinking… was that six shots I fired or only five?” How else would everyone know that the 44 Magnum is the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off? Sure, in one of the later, sadly more forgettable Dirty Harry movies, there was a 44 Automag that was supposed to be somehow superior to the Smith & Wesson 44, but by the time Dirty Harry made his last film, The Dead Pool, the classic 44 revolver was back.

3. The Holy Hand Grenade, Monty Python and the Holy Grail: First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

4. M41a Pulse Rifle, Aliens: This is the gun that Sigourney Weaver got private lesson on from Michael Biehn about midway through the movie. She was a quick study.

5. James Bond’s Walther PPK: This is a classic. If I ever did decide I needed to get myself a handgun, I might just have to get one of these, even though Bond has been using a Walther P99 since the Brosnan days. No respect for tradition, I tell you.

6. The Phaser, Star Trek: Who, I ask you, who has not wanted a phaser at some point in their life as the ultimate problem solver? I particularly thought the small hand phaser would have been useful. The beauty of the phaser over almost any other weapon is NO MESSY CLEANUP. Boris bugging you on the playground? Zap. Next time the teacher asks, “Has anyone seen Boris since recess?” you can just shrug your shoulders and say “I dunno.” My only worry is that it might accidently go off in my pocket the way my cellphone camera is constantly taking pictures of the inside of my pocket.

7. Han Solo’s Blaster, Star Wars: Han Solo’s blaster was both futuristic and retro at the same time, and had the look of being used by Han in his many getaways, including the Kessel run, which he did in less than 12 parsecs. Much has been made of the lightsaber, and even though lightsaber duels make great cinema, it always struck me that the ability to shoot from far away had a distinct advantage over the lightsaber. Though clearly, as any viewing of any of the Star Wars movies will show, accuracy was not the weapon’s strong point.

8. The Robocop Gun, Robocop: Dead or alive, you’re coming with me. Robo lurched more than he walked, and grace wasn’t his strong suit, but he could use that gun. I have no idea what they loaded it with, but it seemed to be somewhat more powerful than the average handgun and ammo seemed to be pretty limitless. What more could you ask for in a gun.

9. FN P90, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever: This is an obscure gun from an even more obscure movie-a lame Lucy Liu/Antonio Banderas flick that had a handful of fun shootouts. One assault weapon used in the movie caught my eye because it seemed like some kind of mockup made for the movie, but it turns out it’s a real gun. The gun looks like a sci-fi prop, and has a clip that loads from the top. It seemed like an unlikely solution to me, but apparently it’s in pretty wide use in Europe.

10. The Golden Gun, The Man with the Golden Gun: A million bucks a hit may have seemed like a lot in the 70s when this movie came out, but I am sure his prices have kept pace with inflation. And he might have a problem going through airport security with a gold pen, cigarrette case, and lighter… aha! There’s the rub. No more lighters in airports. So there we are. Scaramanga could not hijack a plane today with his 3 part Golden Gun. And maybe he’s given up smoking, too. So that leaves the pen. Which is mightier than the sword.

Anyway, that’s my list. Let me know if I missed your favorites.


Permalink | Trackback | del.icio.us Digg Reddit

 

 

 



Comments:

  1. Comment by Dave on February 21, 2007 2:50 am

    How you would skip Jesse the Body’s Gat Gun in ‘The Predator’ is beyond me.

  2. Comment by That guy on February 21, 2007 2:56 am

    I think the M-16 needs mention, because it is in nearly every movie based on the modern age, from Vietnam through today.

    The BFG9000 is a classic video game gun, which got on-screen in the Doom movie, travesty that it was.

  3. Comment by kyleh on February 21, 2007 4:35 am

    It’s an .88 magnum. It shoots through schools.

  4. Comment by eric on February 21, 2007 6:57 am

    What about that insane gun from that horrible movie, Eraser.

  5. Comment by student on February 21, 2007 6:58 am

    You missed the ultimate weapon for our Walmart Generation…
    The Urban Assualt Weapon (appologise for not finding the right name in time) from
    Beverly Hills Cop III… It had a machine gun, grenades, boombox, and a popcorn machine I think!?!

  6. Comment by Luke on February 21, 2007 7:00 am

    How could you forget Arnold’s hand-held GE Minigun from Terminator II?

  7. Comment by John on February 21, 2007 7:05 am

    Parsec is a measure of distance, not speed. I realize the quote was accurate, but GL’s script was incorrect.

  8. Comment by Nobraner on February 21, 2007 7:12 am

    The FN P90 is also the weapon of preference by the SG teams on Stargate SG1.

  9. Comment by wally on February 21, 2007 7:13 am

    desert eagle isnt automatic. and where the hell is the rambo gun????

  10. Comment by Ken on February 21, 2007 7:16 am

    The Falcon made the run in the shortest distance ( Kind of like a ship going around cape horn ( longer distance) Vs using the Panama Canal (shorter distance) in Central America. Lucas was correct.

  11. Comment by Joe on February 21, 2007 7:18 am

    Ok, it wasn’t a movie gun, and it was a infantile TV show…
    but the special effects on the sci-fi series Lost In Space
    were A+ for it’s time.
    (Noooooo, I’m not talking about the rubber masks creatures!)
    I’m talking about the laser guns, the tracked “Chariot” vehicle,
    the jet pack, even the way the flying saucer was sometimes filmed
    was all very believeable…if not out-right cutting edge real to some
    exagerated extent.
    LIS was the first show (before Star Trek) I know of that put some thought into what a laser pistol and rifle might look like, how it would look functioning, and even the disassembly and reassembly of the weapon all looked real.

  12. Comment by Joshua Xalpharis on February 21, 2007 7:19 am

    Anthony Anderson’s shovel ejected an empty 12-gauge shell in Scary Movie 3. It wasn’t exactly a gun, but I found that to be endlessly hilarious.

  13. Comment by solios on February 21, 2007 7:22 am

    Let’s not forget the weapon Zorg demonstrates early in The Fifth Element - that thing kicks ass.

    And if you’re going to include the Holy Hand Grenade - which is most certainly not a gun (you can tell by the NAME!), you ought to include the Tron frisbee - it manifests a motorcycle, shoots energy globs, and also functions as a plate!

  14. Comment by Scott on February 21, 2007 7:30 am

    M60 are in every Military movie, and last but not least the Barrett .50 sniper rifle (god in navy seals).

  15. Comment by Niki on February 21, 2007 7:31 am

    I can’t believe the NOISY CRICKET ala MIB didn’t make the list. I’m going back to bed.

  16. Comment by Jake on February 21, 2007 7:32 am

    Come on! What about the Rambo M-60? He mowed down hundreds of Vietnamese soldiers, a city’s police station, and a platoon of russian soldiers! Who’s to say how many he’s gonna get with that thing in the new movie!

  17. Comment by Rick on February 21, 2007 7:32 am

    What about the .454 Casull from Alien Nation. James Caan total decimates a police issue bullet proof vest on the pistol range with this bad boy.

  18. Comment by Rich on February 21, 2007 7:39 am

    Han Solo’s gun was a Mauser pistol with a scope and flash suppressor added.

    The P90 is a Personal Defense Weapon- made for non-combat troops and bodyguards. It’s pretty hip. Supposedly its bullet can pierce body armor and helmets.

    OK- how can you forget the Thompson Submachine gun? Every gangster movie had one!

    How about the Beretta Machine Pistol in “Face-Off” and “Broken Arrow”- both John Woo films. That was pretty cool.

    I agree with that other guy. The mini-gun that Jesse used in “Predator” and Arnold used in “T2″ was friggin’ awesome!

    The M1 Garand used in “Saving Private Ryan” and “Band of Brothers” was cool just for the “bang, bang, bang, ching” sound it made when the clip ejected.

    This may be off-topic, but how about the RPG-7 used in “Black Hawk Down”?

    Still it was a cool list.

  19. Comment by Matt on February 21, 2007 7:40 am

    Dude, Jesse Ventura’s vulcan cannon from Predator is nixed from your list but a gun reference to Ecks vs. Sever gets a nod!? Oh, and not to nit pick, but the Holy Hand Grenade happens to be missing the fact that it’s not a gun. High rockitude levels are irrelevant on a top gun list, man.

  20. Comment by Steve Bosserman on February 21, 2007 7:40 am

    ….the “Lawgiver” from Judge Dredd was the ultimate..

    and although never in a movie
    …. the “Zat-nut-a-thel” or as Col O’Neil (Stargate SG-1) called it the “Zat-gun”
    (1st shot -stuns, 2nd shots-kills, 3rd shots disinigrates)

  21. Comment by Matthew on February 21, 2007 7:42 am

    seriously, where is the rail gun from Eraser, the M249 from Rambo, the M1A1 .50 cal from Snipe/Navy Seals. 6 barrell mini gun from terminator 2/predator. Sad to see this list so lacking, I know there are so many more worthy guns that deserve to be on this list.

  22. Comment by Matthew on February 21, 2007 7:56 am

    to crrect myself on that, i mean the M-60 from Rambo, M249 I don’t remember if it was in any movies, I know it was used in the 3rd or 4th expansion to the first Half Life.

  23. Comment by Eric on February 21, 2007 8:58 am

    I thought the Beretta 92 (Equilibrium) should have made the list.

  24. Comment by Vlad on February 21, 2007 9:09 am

    The FN P90 is not a obscure gun and is featured well in stargate SG1 and Atlantis

  25. Comment by Mr.Monkey on February 21, 2007 9:23 am

    Dear Mr. Alex,

    I liked the blasters in Bladerunner, which (if memory serves) only worked for humans — not replicants (a nice feature in a weapon):
    http://props.steinschneider.com/blade_runner/bldrunbl.htm

    If you can include the Holy Hand Grenade, which is cool with me, I can include weapons — guns, hammers, dynamite, etc — from the Warner Brother Cartoons. (They were shorts in movie theaters before the were on TV.) The best thing about these weapons is the fact that you can work out your aggressions by using them, then your enemy is OK in the next frame, so you don’t face criminal charges.
    http://home.nc.rr.com/tuco/looney/lists/guns.html

    As for the esoteric, what about “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension”? Actually, the only gun that I can remember is Peter Weller’s — Jeff Goldbloom’s? — six shooter. Actually, guns weren’t very important in that movie. I just wanted to say “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension.”
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086856/

    Hasta la bye bye,
    Mr. Monkey

  26. Comment by Mr. Alex on February 21, 2007 11:32 am

    Excellent suggests, all of them. Thanks everyone. Perhaps we need a longer list….

  27. Comment by drugsandmath on February 21, 2007 4:05 pm

    what, no boomstick? ash is crying

  28. Comment by Todd on February 21, 2007 4:18 pm

    Technically, the disc from TRON was not what created the light cycles. When they hit the game grid, they had a bar generated in front of them that then encased them in the light cycles. When they get off the game grid and the light cycles disappear, you can clearly see TRON’s disk on his back.

    What does this have to do with the discussion? Not much, just proves I watched TRON too much as a kid.

  29. Comment by Larron LePage on February 21, 2007 4:41 pm

    My personal favorite is the gun from the movie ” I come in peace” a Dolph Lungren classic( is that a sentence)

  30. Comment by jeremy on February 21, 2007 4:59 pm

    i dont know the name, but the machine gun/grenade launcher in Scarface is pretty awesome. Schwarzenegger also uses a very similar gun in Predator, to equally ass-kicking effect.

  31. Comment by anon on February 21, 2007 5:08 pm

    say hello to my little friend?

  32. Comment by The Game on February 21, 2007 5:47 pm

    What about Ron Jeremy’s “gun” in all those movies?

  33. Comment by Ash on February 21, 2007 7:18 pm

    Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my boomstick! It’s a twelve gauge double barreled Remington, S-Mart’s top-of-the-line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That’s right this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids Michigan. Retails for about $ 109.95. It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That’s right. Shop Smart. Shop S-mart. Ya got that?!

  34. Comment by Nite74 on February 21, 2007 7:29 pm

    Handmade on the spot nail gun made by Jim Belushi while trying to protect John Ritter (yeah, bad movie) in Real Men. Make a gun in 5 minutes using a band aid case and you should be on a list… any list… something.

  35. Comment by shtbrd on February 21, 2007 8:38 pm

    How about Hellboy’s revolver and all of the guitar case weapons in Desperado? Or the duct tape flame thrower/shot gun in Phantasm? Or Lee Van Cleef’s fancy pistol in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly? This list needs to be 50 or 100 movies in length! All of these have been great ideas, but I nominate Mad Max’s sawed off shotgun for #1

  36. Comment by John on February 21, 2007 11:34 pm

    Okay, nobody caught the assault rifle issued to the Mobile Infantry troops in Starship troopers. An assault rifle, with a built in scope, an attached shotgun, and fires small nuclear warheads. It’s the definition of cool!

  37. Comment by jobles on February 21, 2007 11:39 pm

    Steve McQueen’s BAR in the film “The Sand Pebbles”. Made A big impression on me as an 8 yr. old. For years I thought it stood for Big A** Rifle.

  38. Comment by Bubba on February 21, 2007 11:53 pm

    “Parsec is a measure of distance, not speed. I realize the quote was accurate, but GL’s script was incorrect.”

    A cluster of Black Holes are nearby The Kessel Run. The closer you get to the black holes, the shorter the route.

    Fiction! It can do anything to correct a screw up.

  39. Comment by Mav on February 22, 2007 12:02 am

    What about the blasters from Blakes 7 (the liberator equipment not Scorpio)

  40. Comment by apk on February 22, 2007 8:30 am

    Despite all of the incredibly cool guns already named, I’ve got to give a shout-out to Mike Donovan’s stolen Visitor handgun from “V”. I know it was TV, but that’s just a cool looking gun that he always shot with style. Also, I’m pretty sure he shot with about 97% accuracy. The only Visitor he couldn’t shoot? Diana, of course.

  41. Comment by Skelter67 on February 22, 2007 9:40 am

    How about the f*cking Guns of Navarone? Nazi’s + cannons + mountain = good clean fun. And stuff explodes…

  42. Comment by Oliver on February 22, 2007 9:46 am

    I think you could also add under the Desert Eagle entry that this gun was used by Bullet Tooth Tony in Snatch in one of the greater soliloquy’s in movie history…

  43. Comment by Alex on February 22, 2007 10:18 am

    RAMBO RAMBO RAMBO Need I say More try and WIN AN IPOD at this place http://blog.gotuit.com/index.php/2007/02/19/gotuits-ipod-shuffle-oscars-contest/

  44. Comment by joe on February 22, 2007 1:01 pm

    ghostbusters gun

  45. Comment by Digby on February 22, 2007 3:17 pm

    All good candiates people, however I haven’t seen anything as intense as the ‘Experimental Laser Gun’ used in the movie Congo. It’s powered by diamonds, and can surgically cut up insane Gorillas in a matter of seconds. Tried finding an image online for you all, but no luck, sorry…

  46. Comment by whit on February 22, 2007 3:22 pm

    Drop the golden gun and go with Quigley’s rifle in Quigley Down Under.

  47. Comment by Dave on February 22, 2007 9:49 pm

    What about Bronson’s Wildey Magnum in Death wish? Horrible movie, but a kick ass gun.

  48. Comment by Looney Tunes on February 22, 2007 11:07 pm

    Handgun - I have to go with the converted .454 Casuall from Harley Davidson and The Marlboro Man

    Rifle - Both the Modified Sharps rifle from Quigley and the .50 Barrett from craploads

    Machine Gun - Only one way to go here……MINI GUN BABY…!!!!!!

  49. Comment by Digby on February 24, 2007 4:58 pm

    Do you see the fear in his eyes…

    http://www.impawards.com/1995/posters/congo_ver1.jpg

    Once again people the ‘Experimental Laser Gun’ used in the movie Congo.

  50. Comment by hayleygreeneyes on February 24, 2007 5:10 pm

    what about the one in boogie nights?

  51. Comment by Robocop on February 24, 2007 5:17 pm

    Robocop’s gun: AUTO-9

    FYI

    The reason RoboCops gun is called Auto-9 is not certain, it could be
    because it’s an automatic pistol & the bullets used are of 9mm in
    diameter. It could also just as well be the 9th automatic pistol OCP
    has patented (similar to Glock’s naming system of 17, 18, 19, 20,
    etc.). It is also common practice when a company is developing a
    product to have an earlier seperate prototype name before marketing
    can find a suitable final name (remember how everyone was surprised at
    the sight of the pistol as well as the new murphy and the OCP guy said
    the pistol was something they were working on), this would explain why
    such a interesting distinctive pistol would have such a bland name.

  52. Comment by Digby on February 24, 2007 5:20 pm

    Robocop after having the ‘Experimental Laser Gun’ unleashed on him…

    http://www.cyberpunkreview.com/images/robocop2-04.jpg

  53. Pingback by Intricate Deals » Blog Archive » Top Ten Movie Guns on February 26, 2007 9:20 pm

    […] Original post by Mr. Alex […]

  54. Pingback by I Like The Movies » Top Ten Movie Guns on November 5, 2007 7:58 am

    […] read more | digg story […]

  55. Comment by gunfan on January 11, 2008 7:04 pm

    what about Lethal Weapons, Martin Rigg’s gun the Beretta 92FS should atleast be in there somewhere!

  56. Comment by mark on February 24, 2008 12:56 am

    what about the gun mouse uses in the matrix, just before he gets blown away… is this a movie prop or a real gun?

  57. Comment by jim on April 7, 2008 7:31 pm

    1. Deckard’s gun, Blade Runner

    2. Han Solo blaster, Star Wars

    3. M 41-A pulse rifle, Aliens

    4. Walther PPK, 007

    5. Kanada’s laser rifle, Akira

    6. .88 Magnum in Johnny Dangerously is a classic

    7. Phaser pistol in the original Star Trek

    8. Shigur’s shotgun with silencer in No country for old men

    9. starship troopers Rifle

    10. mad max sawed off double barrel shotgun

Comments RSS

Leave a comment




Comments: